I think about this concept of ‘home’ a lot. Growing up, we moved around a few times. My childhood home was in this tiny little house, living with 9 people under the same roof. My favorite memories were made there. My parents were still together there. My sisters and brothers and I grew up there.
And then we moved after my dad passed away, and I remember that home only slightly. I remember being rebellious and having terrible boyfriends LOL, and never really listening to my mom. I don’t know if it was the area/ environment, or if it was just my way of dealing with loss.
And then we moved again, to another home subsidized by section 8, where I lived throughout high school and college. And I threw the craziest parties and I made a lot of bad decisions, followed by some really great ones. I truly grew up there - mentally and emotionally.
And then my mom would move again, 2 more times.
Moving - it’s a huge ordeal, and it uproots you from so much of what you know/ who you know. Sometimes I wonder if my life would be different if we had just stayed in one place, vs. moving around house after house. But the thoughts are empty and quick, because it all led me here, right where I am. Right where I belong.
I think so much about how I want to raise Grey, how I want him to grow up, the types of experiences I want him to have vs. the type of experiences I want to give to him. I didn’t travel at all growing up, we didn’t have luxuries - I wanted to go to college so I paid for college, all on my own. Every single one of my sisters/ brothers did. And these are things that I love and things that define me, regardless of the struggle or how hard they were in the moment. I value so much because even though we had little, we had SO MUCH in love and family, so I often feel conflicted about what and how much Grey has. I think this is partly why I’ve always stressed the importance of being thankful. For everything, regardless of how small.
All this to say - I loved our old home so much. I still do. Matt and I made a home there. At one point, we had 3 dogs and a baby, lol. We brought Grey home there, raised him, had his first Christmas there. We dreamt of our future home there —- and we made it happen. After years of planning and saving, we are here. And while we are so grateful and happy, I keep reminding myself despite how beautiful and perfect this place is, HOME is more than just where we are. It’s all of the memories, the people, the experiences. This place would be so empty and meaningless without us together - dad, Grey, Rambo. THEY are home. ❤️
Feeling so incredibly thankful that I’ve had so many beautiful and happy homes in my lifetime. I pray that I will give Grey all the same. <3
And really - how incredible was it that it SNOWED ON OUR FIRST DAY IN OUR NEW HOME? 😭😭😭